Getting that news about my dad shook me a little. But I as started thinking about it...it was really fear that was shaking me. Fear of the unknown. Fear comes in so many forms, anger, sadness, worry, doubt...and I had already decided that I didn't have time for none that. I rose up from the bed tired but confident. My quads were so sore and tight from the leg workout the day before and the bottom of my left foot was starting to hurt in a way I never felt before. I was aware but none of that mattered to me.
That night felt really good outside. I made my usual pre-run video. In the video you see me saying "what's up" to two separate people...the 2nd time I spoke was to a guy walking his dog..the same guy I would end up seeing outside walking his dog for my next 3 runs.
That night I remember the moon. It was really bright but not quite full....I think they call it a Waning Gibbus or some shit like that. All I know is that it was truly beautiful. It was times where I was just staring at the moon while I ran not even looking where I was going. I pretended like I was chasing the moon that. At 38 I was pretending again...how dope is that. Not pretend like I was something that I wasn't...but a childlike fun pretend. Innocence, fun, wonder, joy were starting to arise thru the actual physical pain I was feeling.
I ran far that night. A route I had never been. Just running til I couldn't anymore, enjoying my experience. Enjoying myself...... IN-joying myself....in joy with myself....