Saturday 8/8 4am (12 miles in)

I remember this morning. At this point my thoughts had started to slow down. Words were not coming to me as fast, a lot of head nods and grunts lol. This night my left foot was really hurting..bad. The ball of my left foot...any weight on it really hurt. In this pre-run video, even though it's just me talking (and walking) you can see me limping.

I had to hit the bike that morning. The pain was really bad and I didn't want to compromise the rest of my runs. Normally, I would've beat myself up or most likely tried to "man up" and fight thru the pain but I wasn't interested in judging myself in that way.

See we all beat ourselves up about something. Usually a decision we made, how we look, what we ate etc. And for those like me..we judge ourselves about being "tough" or how much pain (physical, emotional) that we can endure before we call it quits. We do this so casually like everyday we down ourselves about something. Why? Why are you doing that? Why am I doing that? Why do we so casually, make an incredible effort to live up to what other's MAY think about us? Like people start going harder when someone ELSE is looking but don't go hard for self, when we see ourselves everyday. Are YOU not good enough to go hard for YOU?

Idk...just questions I had for myself that morning. But the last question(s) I asked myself before I got started was "Who did I think I was to judge myself like this? Who taught us to judge the doer but praise the talker..."

I didn't have an answer, so I got to work with everything I had. I was proud of me for not judging me.

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